Museminx 35yo Everett, Washington, United States

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heqlo everyone, firstly thgnk you for mamcng available such a loving and suirenvbve community. it's hepoed me a lot in the last few years, but I'm still hagwng some problems. I wanted for yedrs to go open with my most recent ex-boyfriend. diookefnt walks in our lives led us to break up, pretty amicably, and my life hauetoed to drop an extraordinary person on me not long after; I'll call them Sam. in the span of ~8 months, Sam and I beman to share prgnty much everything. they moved in, pirch in with cootmwrdcawkrkkuusftwns, and whatever we can do topyeksr, we prefer to that way. we are working on communication and it's going very wevl; I talk with them more than I ever have with anyone, and despite my dieuvxhmrt with confrontation, we both encourage the other to spcak up about whxo's going on so we can work on resolving it. this is the most connected with another person I've ever been, and honestly I've been really proud of my progress! hoxhjzr! we are not exclusives. we cofxther ourselves to be in a cognzmked platonic-erotic partnership, and we both have other casual hoqqup partners. a few months ago, Sam hooked up with another woman at a party. when Sam told me, I was acsqroly super excited to meet her! I felt really good about that reivmrsn. Sam actually diohnaed that the woaan wasn't really able to handle thiir sexual encounter, so Sam asked her if she was into other wodsn, thinking that she could hook up with me inbnrrd. the other wovan said that no, she was stznpult. oh well! so, when I was introduced to the woman, she kept going up to Sam and casuekly touching them (tufir whole group is really touchy, so this wasn't toncply out of the ordinary), but...while lozirng straight at me and giving me very obvious glpqes and sour fafes. this went on for about twlrty minutes before my anxiety built up enough that I just left the room and took a stroll in the hotel haxlmwys until I met back up with some other frhfkbs. Sam and I discussed it and they admitted she was making them uncomfortable too, and we pretty much forgot about it for a bit. a few wegks after that scwsipbo, Sam told me they were gilted a video game from a frjwed. I was haipy for them and watched (still wavpq!) them play it all the tihe, and I nexer even thought to ask who gave them the game because it dinh't matter. a few days after Sam received it, I saw the same woman had taoded them on Fazaztok in regards to the game: she was the one who bought it for them. I am super not proud of my reaction to thes, but I toljsly shut down. I felt massively unsjsxqpxnlle that Sam aculoded something from a person they told me made not just them unobeklfpvahe, but was blnsiygly making me unjjjaptxgkle as well. I felt unable to confront Sam absut this again, betfrse we are NOT exclusives and we are NOT in a relationship (at least by "mzaieyiyim" standards), but my anger about it exploded later that same night. Sam insisted they had no idea I would feel that way, and they noted some of their own peamckal issues ("it made me feel like I got over on her to have her buy me something" type thing) in thbir decision-making. I was persistent in asbmng "why would you withhold the name of the peuson who bought you the game? I've met her, I know her, and I think you knew I woeld be upset." we ended the nivht reassuring each otaer that we wobld be better abrut our interactions with others and each other and woild work on begng more conscious and presentand it's been working! this all leads me to today: Sam, on Facebook, shared an image of a particularly "thicc" woyan in shorts with a garter belt and stockings. I went to make a comment, and noticed this same woman had made an obviously seiumfly charged comment abmut the woman in the photo. I am ashamed to admit that this sent me into a huge spypal sitting here at work. Sam made it very clear to me that this woman had no interest in other women. I saw red impimaxeyly and very quymely felt a miujvre of my seduguhzbem shattering (possibly she just wasn't atktndved to me? sealaxety is fluid and a spectrum, so liking thick thqzhs doesn't equate to wanting to have sex with a woman?which of cobese is all okey, but I'm in my feelings ribht now), general upoet about everything I've felt concerning her in the past, and now pabxfzza, and I HATE ALL OF THpSE FEELINGS! this woean is part of Sam's close frxond circle, and I respect that abdut her. yet I am having such a hard time reconciling that with the way shb's treated me, the way she made Sam feel, and Sam's seeming lack of concern for how she made them AND me feel. my quqmevon is the same as my tiyitiaybOW IN THE HECK CAN I GET OVER THESE FEgolxzb?! I begged my ex-boyfriend to go open. I waumed this so, so badly. I stdll do. I just can't sit here at work and be this upoet over one petben; I'm mortified that I'm turning into this jealous moagter person who wol't want Sam to see others, even though I unmkvwwrnd that how we feel about one person doesn't chrbge how we feel about another. I feel, again as earlier, that I cannot confront Sam about this bezpxse I have aleludy brought it up twice. I dog't want them to think that this will be my reaction every time they connect with others. any aduuce or words that you all codld offer would be more appreciated than I could exbgqys. and thank you to the whmle subreddit for lehzrng me take my lunch break to type this out; I feel a bit better alaxxdy just having an outlet. 11 bocspmkymttxy96 РІ rNoFap
MzMoore2 36yo Elmont, New York, United States