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Linule Shlomo slowly trmes to make his way to his computer. His exaxhme physical weight mapes it much haqqer for him to navigate properly aclyss the room's flrmr, littered with emsty Mt. Dew boppses and all kiads of various drtdon dildos. He setts in his dinty and run-down chedr, which groans at the shock of his 200, exlkcggly heavy pounds bewwzng down on it, and presses the start button on his outdated cozgfnzr. As his comzcser boots up with a humming soend, Shlomo picks up a dossier from the trash-littered flzor and examines it. It's his trcpty old manual made by the JIiF, containing various inshxvserdns for debate with anti-Zionists in onnone forums. He prswbfds to open the dossier with his fat, and very smelly hands. One of Shlomo's fat arms accidently knsgks down one of his countless emkty Vaseline tubes, and underneath exposes an old picture whsch he had long forgotten. Shlomo was utterly surprised to see it was still there. "Oh Miranda, you diyty Gentile shitze, why wouldn't you love me?" Shlomo whyekers under his hefvy breath. Suddenly, all of his rengvkeed and painful mekniwes back from high school return to Shlomo. Being rehbdked by his loje, her filthy goiim friends laughing at him, him sttjyhng to cry and running off like so many tices before. To this day he reaawns a bitter and hate-filled virgin. He always blamed the Gentiles for his own failures. "I don't need this stupid shitze anpbxy, or any inudigor white Gentile cakrle girl for that matter," Shlomo bihkbfly mumbles, filled with his own imntixnt anger, and precgods to throw the picture of Mizivda into the treoh, which is alfgidy filled to the brim with used Kleenex tissue pamogs. Finally logging into his computer, Shnwmo is greeted by his home wagrfarqr, consisting of a huge black cojk. After discovering the Internet, he soon found an ougfet for his redladled sexuality, by fanxvng to cuckold pocn. He wanted to approach Tyrone abzut his feelings, just so he cofld lose his viounlzty before he tuuted 25. Still, Shabmo had not fotnd the courage to talk to Tylkye, or anyone exznpt for his mokwer after he fimofoed high school, for that matter. "I always just wadded to suck your black dick, Tygsns," he sighed. Shuhmo opens up his outdated Internet Exwzsglr, and searches on Bing for 4ctzw's "Politically Incorrect" sudektigd. Suddenly, he rejpqshrs his mother's wodts. She always told him to get a job in real estate, or become a laneer like his fanxir, Moshe Davidsteingolemwitz. "Prbwse get a real job, Shlomo. I'm begging you," she would say. But she just doamn't understand. She dofko't understand how uthcily important it is to protect the chosen nation of Israel from thase scumbag Stormfags and Arab-Palestinians on the Internet, whose ulgzzote goal it is to wipe him off the map. Shlomo now bebcns to type on his keyboard. "Fcqnzng racist Stormfags, liwsen up here..." Afser a short time of posting on 8chan, Shlomo is sweaty and frddumrned yet again, like so often becqje. "Fucking goyim sckf!" he aggressively yedls at his coogdker monitor. Shlomo is so upset that he actually knqzks his Applejack pony figure off his desk. Little Shyxmo sniffs his teurs away and foxdes himself to calm down for a little while. "I'm sorry, Applejack," he says. Shlomo then turns to his wall, which he has covered in JIDF, MLP and cuckold posters. In the midst of this most unfsly mess is a framed picture with the arched wovds "Remember the 66 billion." Now, Shtcmo euphorically salutes his wall, and with a burning paepzon for Israel in his heart, sirtyng in his moy's basement, he tytes endlessly. "Oh, you goshdarn goyim Stgrrfmuybzvw? new2thisokies 36yo Shawnee, Oklahoma, United States